Farm Boy, Fetch Me That Pitcher.

I've figured it out: Broker looks like a taller, chunkier Cary Elwes... with brown hair... and a bit of a higher voice... (You know Cary Elwes - of Princess Bride fame? Our dear sweet Westley, with eyes like the sea after a storm? Yeah, that guy). I saw him again on Sunday. But wait, let's backtrack a bit. It's been a big week.

Gilbert was a no show on the 8th. As a matter of fact, he's still not back. He sent me a message, and apparently he'll be staying in the Czech Republic pretty much all summer. What's worse, I'm pretty sure I dropped the ball in the way that I responded. I think I overdid it. I haven't heard from him in a few days... But perhaps it's for the best. It's tough to imagine having to get to know someone all summer over email, staying interested while still remaining uninvested.

So then there's Broker. He sent me an email last Sunday asking me to dinner and a movie. I put off answering for a day or two, partially because I was hoping that Gilbert would come home and I could meet him first... but also because I think dinner and a movie was a little daunting to me. It's so datey! Could I really find conversation topics to fill a full meal? This guy doesn't talk much. And there's also the issue of pay. He paid for our drinks last time, so does that mean he'd pay for the date this time too? I'd feel horrible letting him dish out all that cash just for me to later tell him that I was more interested in someone else. But if I offered to pay for just my share, wouldn't that be a little cold? And it would definitely be sending the wrong message if I paid for both of us...

Fortunately, Broker solved the problem for me. He got a little anxious, so he texted after a day and a half of non-response from me. He asked if I wanted to go out again sometime. This was my big chance to date on my own terms! I responded:

"That'd be fun! I'm crazy busy with work right now, but I could spare a few hours away! I'm free Sunday afternoon - wanna go for a walk?"

That's right, a walk. Nobody would have to pay, it provides great opportunity for conversation, and is not nearly as intense. Brilliant.

So we met for our walk on Sunday. He picked the location and we ended up walking through a neighbourhood in the city that I hadn't yet explored. It's a beautiful area with huge houses (going for about $5 million each) and nice walking paths, etc. It was a nice walk. We talked, we laughed... we were silent sometimes, but it wasn't awkward. We found a park bench facing some tennis courts and we sat and watched the tennis players for about an hour. When I had to go, he offered to walk me back to my car. I declined (I'm still not very good at letting go of my Strong, Capable Woman in order to allow a man to take care of me).

On our first date when it was time to go, I went in for a hug at the end. This time, I decided to let him call the shots. He stood there awkwardly for just a little too long, so I smiled, said goodbye and walked away.

I think that right there is the main problem. Broker's just fine, really. He's nice, he's smart, he makes me laugh, he's relatively attractive... but I'm pretty sure I could walk all over him. If we got into a relationship, I have a feeling he would let me boss him around. And I'm just not sure that's the kind of relationship I want to be in. I mean, it may have worked for Buttercup at first, getting Westley to polish her horse's saddle and fetch her pitchers, but as soon as Westley became a pirate, it was the back of the hand if she spoke out of turn.

So here I am again, not really into Broker, not really feeling like Gilbert's into me, trying to find time to email The Comedian but not really feeling very excited about any of it. Add to all that the three hour conversation I had with my ex the other day... I think it's safe to say I'm just plain spent.

Maybe I'll sit back for a while and just let things happen. If there are men out there who really want me, I'm sure they're more than capable of putting in a little effort...