Go Big or Go Home

When love (or even like) is new, you can't get enough, right? I think that's right, but I'm beginning to doubt myself...

I'm in a thing. It's new-ish and nice, but it's slow getting going. At first I was fine with that, but I'm not so sure anymore, and here's why: I think I have a complex. I have this deeply ingrained fear that it's pretty difficult to love me. Or, at the very least, that it's quite easy to stop loving me. I don't tell you this as an attempt to get you to convince me of the contrary. I tell you this because this is my blog, and I have to be honest on my blog.

At the beginning, slow was nice. I didn't want to rush anything. So we'd see each other, and then maybe we wouldn't see each other again for a week or so, but we'd text in-between, and everything was fine. But that's still happening. It's been over a month, and we're still only seeing each other at most once a week. And when we see each other it's lovely and we text daily and that's nice, but I'm beginning to feel that maybe he's just not that anxious to have me in his life.

Yes, he's got reasons to be busy. Good reasons at that. But when I'm smitten, reasons are nothing. I make time. Is that weird? Are normal people this laid back about starting a relationship? Because right now I feel more like a pen pal than a potential girlfriend.

And the fact that that bothers me makes me feel needy. And I hate the idea that I might be one of those needy girls. And I wish he'd just love me or hate me and get this halfway business out of the way.

I guess I'm an all or nothing girl. It works well for me when I'm in a relationship, but it's making this weekly romance thing a bit awkward...