Never Mess With the System.

I've been going on so many dates these days, it's hard to keep track of them all. Beyond that, it's next to impossible to keep track of what I wear on them all. This may seem like a silly thing to think about, but it would be brutal if I wore the same outfit with the same guy on two consecutive outings.

So I've come up with a system. Green shirt and gold jewellery for date one, leather jacket, purple scarf and silver earrings for date two. So far it seems to be working. Thing is, I messed with the system tonight. I have a feeling that choice was the beginning of the end...

Dressed in my second date outfit, I headed out for my first date with The Security Guard. We met at the movie theatre so we could get our tickets before we grabbed coffee. After a brief, awkward introduction, he went to one of the ticket machines. I didn't know whether to stand back and let him pay, and he wasn't indicating one way or another. I'm not one to assume, so I went to my own machine and got my own ticket.

Then we headed over to Tim Horton's. On the way there we passed a small group of men who were street preaching. The Security Guard whispered a couple insults under his breath as we walked by. Once in Timmy's, my evening companion started to tell me stories about his job and about how he gets to meet many famous people and wear a bulletproof vest. He then started making very loud comments about the service at Tim Horton's and how he believed they should be working faster.

A man approached us with a sign that said, "I'm deaf. Please spare some change." The Security Guard looked at the man and replied, "I can't read!" and then laughed boisterously.

We spent the next hour talking about his job and his family... and sports. I tried to supply some information about myself, but gave up rather quickly - I was taught that interrupting people is rude. Besides, whenever I did get a word in, he would nod or say "yeah" and then carry on with whatever he was talking about. Apparently I'm just not all that interesting or something.

Thank goodness we decided to watch a movie. The only painful part of that experience was the previews, when he would lean over and trash every movie I thought seemed interesting.

He sings when there's silence. Not just humming, full out singing with words.

After the movie ended (and after I waited for him to go to the bathroom) I began planning my escape. I've already used "I have to donate blood in the morning" on a different first date and it certainly got the point across, but I don't like to lie. (For the record, I really did have to donate blood after that other date... I still admit it was a pretty lame excuse). Fortunately I didn't need to trouble myself with an excuse. I asked, "So can you get to the subway through this building?" and he led me right there.

We got on the train. I sat down. There was a seat right next to me, but he chose to stand above me instead. Every once in a while he would make a comment, but the subway was loud and I'm pretty hard of hearing as it is, so I had to keep asking him to repeat himself. It was awkward.

His stop came first, he said goodbye, lingering a bit too long in order to spit out something about how he'd call me, and then he was gone. The huge sigh that escaped from my body as those subway doors closed made me realize just how happy I was to be alone.

I think I need to remind myself of that more often. Alone really isn't so bad. At least, it could be worse - I could be stuck with a Security Guard who can't read.