It's interesting (and kind of adorable) how scared men are to ask a woman out. I think it's funny, though, that this fear extends into the world of online dating. I mean, here we are, all on this site, with the common goal of finding a partner. Asking someone out is kind of a required step.
The Security Guard finally asked me out last night. We've been talking for a few weeks now. I have to say, he's not the greatest communicator, but he hasn't done anything to scare me away yet, so in the spirit of openness I'm still on board. It was funny the way he did it though. At the end of another of his mediocre emails he wrote the following:
The Security Guard finally asked me out last night. We've been talking for a few weeks now. I have to say, he's not the greatest communicator, but he hasn't done anything to scare me away yet, so in the spirit of openness I'm still on board. It was funny the way he did it though. At the end of another of his mediocre emails he wrote the following:
"So I was wondering if you would be cool getting together sometime, maybe grab dinner and/or drinks or catch a movie or whatever, just something to get to know each other better... anyways, no pressure but just a thought."
I wonder if there's any way we could make it easier on these guys. Maybe we could create a standard form, or even have a "date request" button so they don't have to go through the agony of suggesting dinner/drinks/movie without sounding lame. I think it's a good idea - I might pitch it to The Site.
And then there are the guys who don't even have the awkward bravery of The Security Guard. Take Frenchie, for example. We've been talking for a couple weeks and it's wonderful. We joke, we flirt (a bit), and we have many common interests to discuss. But sooner or later we're going to run out of email fodder. A date, or at least a phone conversation, is very necessary to ensure that this relationship doesn't fizzle. Frenchie will tease about whisking me away to Salzburg (which he can totally do - he happens to be a pilot) but he doesn't even consider asking me to the weekend film festival that we've been recently discussing.
For the record, I would totally go.
Which brings me to my final point of contention in online dating (well, at least as far as this blog is concerned): I could do the asking. I'm certainly capable, and I've got the guts. Thing is, I've noticed that the men on these sites seem to feel a little emasculated when a woman grabs the reins. If a woman is too bold, the man feels like his role has been taken away. This is silly. Silly, but I suppose I kind of get it...
Because, in all honesty, I really want to be pursued. In my sordid past I have convinced far too many men to be interested in me. I have sought them out, made it easy for them, and finally, once I have virtually forced them to get to know me, they have realized that I'm pretty alright. I don't want to do that again. I want a man who sees my value from the start. I want a man who wants me, and is willing to go through a little humiliation (or at least an awkward first date proposition) to get me. I want to be worth the work.
And then there are the guys who don't even have the awkward bravery of The Security Guard. Take Frenchie, for example. We've been talking for a couple weeks and it's wonderful. We joke, we flirt (a bit), and we have many common interests to discuss. But sooner or later we're going to run out of email fodder. A date, or at least a phone conversation, is very necessary to ensure that this relationship doesn't fizzle. Frenchie will tease about whisking me away to Salzburg (which he can totally do - he happens to be a pilot) but he doesn't even consider asking me to the weekend film festival that we've been recently discussing.
For the record, I would totally go.
Which brings me to my final point of contention in online dating (well, at least as far as this blog is concerned): I could do the asking. I'm certainly capable, and I've got the guts. Thing is, I've noticed that the men on these sites seem to feel a little emasculated when a woman grabs the reins. If a woman is too bold, the man feels like his role has been taken away. This is silly. Silly, but I suppose I kind of get it...
Because, in all honesty, I really want to be pursued. In my sordid past I have convinced far too many men to be interested in me. I have sought them out, made it easy for them, and finally, once I have virtually forced them to get to know me, they have realized that I'm pretty alright. I don't want to do that again. I want a man who sees my value from the start. I want a man who wants me, and is willing to go through a little humiliation (or at least an awkward first date proposition) to get me. I want to be worth the work.
Yayeeeeeeee my new favorite reading material :))) Give minute details please. This is the brother who knows this sweet beautiful woman's identity.
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